Feeling the Love of Jesus Christ,

I think I've never been closer to understanding the Love of God and our savior Jesus Christ for us. Sitting in the darkness of night with two sick children. Holding them. Singing to them. Massaging them all through the night. That is what our savior does for us and more. We are His sick and weary children. But He never leaves our side. No matter our sickness, no matter the darkness of the night. He sits with us, holds us, sings peace to our hearts and brings the light of the dawn. 

Sleepless nights

So I think the treatment my two Lyme patients received was too much for their system today. They have both been throwing up tonight. We will see what the morning brings and hopefully they will get to sleep. Here's praying and hoping. 

Just as I wrote that I thought one was calling in pain from the bath here at 1:06 am. But no, she was just singing. I'm taking that as a positive sign. 

You are doing God's work

“You are doing God's work. You are doing it wonderfully well. He is blessing you, and He will bless you, --even--no, -especially--when your days and your nights may be most challenging. Like the woman who anonymously, meekly, perhaps even with hesitation and some embarrassment, fought her way through the crowd just to touch the hem of the Master's garment, so Christ will say to the women who worry and wonder and weep over their responsibility as mothers, `Daughter, be of good comfort; thy faith hath made thee whole.' And it will make your children whole as well.” 
― Jeffrey R. Holland

tags: inspirational, mothers

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Finding peace in the middle of turmoil

Jesus Christ lives and is the key to peace and answered prayers.

Early morning answers to prayers from Teachings of the Prophets...Ezra Taft Benson =PEACE

Faith in Jesus Christ consists of complete reliance on Him. As God, He has infinite power, intelligence, and love. There is no human problem beyond His capacity to solve. Because He descended below all things (see D&C 122:8), He knows how to help us rise above our daily difficulties.

Faith in Him means believing that even though we do not understand all things, He does. We, therefore, must look to Him “in every thought; doubt not, fear not.” (D&C 6:36.)

Chapter 6: Jesus Christ, Our Savior and Redeemer http://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-ezra-taft-benson/chapter-6-jesus-christ-our-savior-and-redeemer?lang=eng

But His gospel is only effective as it is applied in our lives. Therefore, we must “feast upon the words of Christ; for behold, the words of Christ will tell you all things what ye should do.” (2 Ne. 32:3.)

Chapter 6: Jesus Christ, Our Savior and Redeemer http://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-ezra-taft-benson/chapter-6-jesus-christ-our-savior-and-redeemer?lang=eng

That [person] is greatest and most blessed and joyful whose life most closely approaches the pattern of the Christ. This has nothing to do with earthly wealth, power, or prestige. The only true test of greatness, blessedness, joyfulness is how close a life can come to being like the Master, Jesus Christ. He is the right way, the full truth, and the abundant life.

Chapter 6: Jesus Christ, Our Savior and Redeemer http://www.lds.org/manual/teachings-of-presidents-of-the-church-ezra-taft-benson/chapter-6-jesus-christ-our-savior-and-redeemer?lang=eng

Mother's musing about Lyme

It's a strange world to enter...chronically ill. It's one thing when it's you. It's an entirely different thing when it's your children. There are many different kinds of chronic diseases with a wide range of effects. For us? It's Lyme disease. 

We entered this world in 2009 and it's been a long long road. Sometimes it has seemed like those dreams where you keep running down a hallway and as you go faster the hallway gets longer. And it's not only the body that suffers...it's every aspect of normalcy that ends. School? Home? Finances? Schedule? Activities?  Future? Even the fun things like Disneyland are impacted. 

I read a blog recently about Lyme disease and it stated it perfectly.   It basically said As you watch others living a normal life, riding a bike down the street, for you? just standing up for more than 5 minutes can be a daunting task. 

As a mom of two children with Lyme Disease, I am constantly fighting the battle of the "shoulds" that are imposed upon us by society and honestly a desire for pro ductive living verses the reality of the capabilities of their minds and physical stamina. 

My daughter has been fighting her Lyme battle since the beginning and she is beginning to win. However, recovery is a roller coaster and even when the pain is eased and the brainfog is at bay she is still having difficulty standing for any sustained period of time. 

My son however, was just recently diagnosed and we have started treatments and the herxing begins. (Herxing is the die off effect from the Lyme bacteria. When they start dying off they release toxins into the bloodstream and the symptoms get worse before they get better.). 

Herxing with McKaeln, my 17 year old daughter, is like a really bad flu...you're achy and head is so foggy you can't think straight, some of the depression and anxiety increase but it's mostly the achy yucky lethargic feelings. 

With my son?  Kaden age 12, It's entirely different.  Probably because he has a brain mass and his seizures are more abnormal than hers. And his pain is a chronic headache.  But his Herxing is including panic attacks and after an attack the pain increases drastically.  

I asked one of the medical professionals we are working with how much do I push?  And her answer validated my feelings. "Not at all right now". Ah the peace that comes from validation. 

   A very wise doctor told me at the beginning of this journey that my job as a mother was to trust my instincts. They are never wrong.  It's so hard to stay confident with that when others all around you from doctors to family and friends contradict those instincts. They do it out of love and concern and for that I am so grateful. But the truth is my instincts are a gift from God. And HE knows me and my children and what is best and what they need to heal. And it's up to me to be lean on Him and trust Him. And I have found when I do doors open and prayers are answered. When I don't? Confusion and anxiety envelope my soul. That is no good for I need a clear mind and peace to lead and heal these amazing children who have been entrusted to my care. I'm sorry we don't look like we should to the world. But our love and faith is growing stronger with each other and that is most important. It's the only way to keep hope alive.